University of the Wastes: talks with rival University of Luxury broke down again last night over a public debate ‘Is Tomorrow Even Worse?’ to celebrate the brown belt around ULux’s controversial new £75m Centre for Optimism. No public feeling has been registered but according to Associate Provost Griff Greenaway, angry flyers littered the rubble of Car Park 1 as clouds gathered to mark the start of revision week. Zero hours negotiations with a celebrity panel of astrologers, mediums and a dead monarch were postponed in disarray only last month due to heavy rain.

University of the Wastes is co-signatory to the European Satirical Learning Agreement and has no connection to the Parallel University.